A few months back, I wrote a blog titled “Decoding the Dating Dictionary”– https://firstroundsonme.co/decoding-the-dating-dictionary/ – where I scoured the dating dictionary for the most common and sometimes baffling lingo our modern world deals with. Well, folks, fasten your metaphorical seatbelts because I’m back with another batch on today’s blog that promises to not only enlighten you, but might also leave you slightly bewildered and perhaps even concerned. Grab a glass of wine, and let’s dive in….
1. Cookie Jarring: Keeping Backup Options
It’s the dating strategy of ensuring alternative options are readily available, basically mirroring the convenience of having a stash of cookies just an arm’s length away. Cookie jarring paints a picture of a dating landscape where daters are not fully committed to one person and are, instead, hedging their bets by maintaining connections with other potential partners. This behavior might involve continued interactions or casual flirting with these backups while simultaneously pursuing a primary romantic relationship. It’s essentially a way to keep one’s options open, often without the knowledge or consent of the primary partner.
While modern dating offers numerous options and the convenience of maintaining connections, it’s crucial to consider the implications of having backup options and how this may impact the quality of your primary relationship.
2. Infla-dating: Love on a Shoestring Budget
As inflation rates soar and making ends meet becomes a daily puzzle, the ingenious concept of “infla-dating” has taken the dating world by storm. It recognizes that the beauty of a romantic connection is not determined by the amount of money spent but by the quality of the shared experiences. This concept encourages daters to get creative, to think outside the box, and to explore affordable or free date options that allow them to bond, make memories, and share moments of joy without the financial burden. It’s all about creativity and frugality, encouraging you to whip up low-cost, fun date ideas that won’t break the bank. After all, who said love had to be expensive?
3. Ethical Sexploration: Honesty in Exploration
As we become more open-minded about polysexuality and polyamory, “ethical sexploration” is gaining traction. The essence of ethical sexploration lies in the candid and straightforward approach to one’s sexual orientation and preferences. It is about embracing who you are and being unapologetic about your polysexual or polyamorous nature while pursuing and maintaining multiple sexual connections. This includes openly communicating your desires, boundaries, and intentions with all parties involved.
The concept of ethical sexploration encourages conversations about consent, communication, and mutual respect. It celebrates the idea that love, intimacy, and sexual connections can take on various forms, but they should always be rooted in trust and honesty. It serves as a reminder that ethical exploration of one’s sexuality, whether polyamorous or otherwise, is a journey guided by self-acceptance and consideration for others, emphasizing that consent and open communication are the linchpins of any healthy and fulfilling sexual or romantic relationship.
4. Roaching: Keeping Polyamory in the Shadows
In a world that’s becoming more accepting of diverse sexual orientations, “roaching” is the dark side of ethical exploration. Roaching occurs when an individual, who identifies as polysexual or polyamorous, intentionally withholds this aspect of their identity from a new date or partner. The word “roaching” paints a vivid image: just like the sudden scurrying of roaches when a light is turned on, the truth about the extent of one’s intimate connections is revealed, unbeknownst to the initial lover.
This behavior raises complex ethical questions about the responsibilities we have to our partners in terms of disclosing the nature of our romantic or sexual connections. It also underlines the importance of open, honest, and respectful communication when embarking on relationships of any kind.
5. Groundhogging: Insanity of Dating the Same Type
Einstein famously defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. “Groundhogging” in dating perfectly encapsulates this notion. It’s basically when you repeatedly date the same type of person, hoping for a different outcome each time. In a sense, groundhogging is akin to an endless loop of romantic déjà vu. It’s like replaying the same scene in a movie, expecting the ending to change. Despite the frustration and disappointments that may accumulate, people stuck in the cycle of groundhogging often find it challenging to break free from the gravitational pull of their familiar “type.”
The allure of groundhogging can be attributed to the comfort of the known. We tend to gravitate toward what’s familiar and, in doing so, may repeat past relationship patterns. However, it’s essential to recognize that real personal growth and the potential for healthier, more fulfilling relationships often come when we’re willing to step outside our comfort zones and embrace the unknown.
6. Open Casting: A Bold Departure from “Types”
“Open casting” is the antithesis of “groundhogging.” It’s a daring trend in dating where you abandon the idea of having a “type” and instead approach each potential partner on their individual merits. The essence of open casting lies in embracing the beauty of individuality. It encourages daters to see each person they encounter as a distinct and valuable entity, rather than trying to fit them into a predetermined mold. This approach acknowledges the richness of human diversity, celebrating the fact that love can be found in unexpected places and within people who may not have conformed to preconceived notions of a “type.” It’s an adventurous way to date, free from patterns and familiarities, opening doors to new possibilities.
By adopting open casting, people free themselves from the shackles of preconceived notions and rigid expectations. They embark on a journey of discovery, welcoming the opportunity to learn, grow, and, ultimately, find love in the most unanticipated forms.
7. Wokefishing: The Art of Feigned Social Consciousness
In an era where social awareness and conscientiousness have taken center stage, a curious dating phenomenon has emerged, known as “wokefishing.” This term describes a behavior where individuals present themselves as highly socially conscious or progressive, often by adopting certain beliefs, values, or outward appearances, to capture the interest and affection of potential romantic partners. It’s akin to donning a costume of social awareness, only to unveil one’s true colors at a later stage.
However, this dating strategy comes with its set of ethical concerns. While demonstrating awareness and engagement with important social issues can be attractive to many, engaging in wokefishing can ultimately lead to feelings of disappointment and betrayal when the facade unravels. This not only undermines the potential for authentic and meaningful connections but also erodes trust in the dating process.
8. Submarining : The Sudden Re-emergence
This term describes a scenario in the world of modern dating where someone who had previously ghosted you, effectively vanishing from your life without explanation, suddenly re-emerges after an extended period of absence. Much like a submarine surfacing from the depths of the ocean, this person resurfaces in your life, often without acknowledging their prior disappearance.
Submarining can be both confusing and frustrating, as it leaves the person who was ghosted to wonder about the motives behind the sudden return. It might lead to mixed feelings and questions about whether to entertain further interactions with this individual, as the reasons for their reemergence can be quite ambiguous. It’s important for those who experience submarining to consider their own feelings and boundaries when deciding how to respond to someone who has resurfaced from the dating abyss.
9. Ghost Writer:
In the realm of modern dating, a “ghost writer” refers to a scenario where a friend steps in to assist you in composing text messages or messages to your romantic interest. This friend takes on the role of a behind-the-scenes writer, helping to craft and fine-tune your messages in order to make a more favorable impression or navigate a particularly delicate or tricky conversation. The concept of a ghost writer in dating has gained prominence due to the importance of text communication in relationships. It’s a way to seek advice, refine your intentions, or add a touch of humor or charm to your messages, with the ultimate aim of making the conversation more engaging or meaningful.
While having a ghost writer can be helpful in certain situations, it’s crucial to maintain authenticity and ensure that the messages still reflect your own thoughts and feelings. Open communication and transparency with your romantic interest are key in navigating the complexities of modern dating, even when assistance is provided by a well-intentioned friend.
10. The Great Gatsbying:
In the world of modern dating, Gatsbying is a behavior where someone strategically posts on their social media with a specific aim in mind. The intention is either to capture the attention of a particular person they’re interested in or to make that person, as well as others, feel a twinge of jealousy. Gatsbying involves carefully curating social media content to highlight one’s achievements, adventures, and attractive qualities. It’s a subtle way of sending a message without directly communicating, often showcasing the person’s life in a highly desirable light.
However, it’s essential to approach Gatsbying with caution. While it can be a playful or flirtatious means of getting someone’s attention, it’s also important to maintain authenticity and not rely solely on social media to convey your feelings or interests. As with all aspects of modern dating, open and honest communication remains vital for forming meaningful connections.
Until next time x
HJF for First Rounds On Me