Just when you thought you had a handle on the dating scene, we have a whole dictionary of dating terms to navigate. Filled with cryptic terms that will make you question your romantic sanity. From Ghosting to Zombieing, Orbiting to Bread Crumbing, the dating landscape has become a linguistic labyrinth that can leave even the savviest of daters scratching their heads. So grab a glass of wine ( or preferred beverage of choice ) and get ready to laugh, cringe, and even roll your eyes as we decode some of these peculiar terms…

Ghosting – Whether you were the ghoster or ghostee… we’ve all been a part of this phenomena. One moment you’re truly vibing with someone, exchanging witty banter and planning future escapades, and the next, poof—radio silence. Dun dun DUNNNNN… You’ve been ghosted. It’s the vanishing act that leaves us scratching our heads and wondering what the fuck went wrong. Dating’s version of a disappearing act, it plagues us with unanswered questions and a unhealthy dose of emotional confusion.

Zombieing – Yes, you read that right—zombieing. Like a character from a cheesy horror movie, it’s when someone you thought was long gone suddenly resurfaces. They creep back into your life with a casual “Hey, long time no see,” as if their disappearing act was nothing more than a temporary hiatus. A zombie emerging from the depths of your past. They come back to life, resurrecting old conversations and rekindling dormant feelings. Beware, for these undead daters may have an insatiable thirst for attention or a fear of missing out. So, keep your wits about you and brace yourself for the onslaught of mixed emotions. It’s up to you to decide whether to give them a second chance or send them back to the dating undead.

Kittenfishing – Imagine strolling through the enchanted forest of online dating, swiping left and right, when suddenly, you encounter a delightful lil’ creature—a kittenfish. At first glance, they appear adorable and captivating, with their perfectly curated profile pictures and intriguing bios. But beware, for the kittenfish is a master of deception. Much like a cunning chameleon, they possess the art of presenting themselves in a slightly more purrfect light than reality. Perhaps their height is exaggerated by a whisker, or their age is magically trimmed down by a few years. They dance on the fine line between harmless exaggeration and misrepresentation, leaving you pondering whether they’re truly the cat’s meow or just a dating illusion.

The Slow Fade – The slow fade, my dear friend, is a peculiar phenomenon in the dating realm. In the same family as Ghosting but with a lingering presence, it’s the art of gradually slipping away, like a fading sunset disappearing into the horizon. Initially, everything seems promising—a flurry of messages, delightful dates, and sparks flying like fireworks. But then, without warning, the frequency of communication starts to dwindle, the replies become shorter, and the enthusiasm wanes. It’s a subtle act. One that leaves you wondering if they’ve suddenly gained the superpower of invisibility, or if you’ve stumbled into an alternate universe where communication is but a distant memory.

Cushioning – The Safety Net of Options. It’s when someone keeps multiple potential romantic interests on the side, just in case their current relationship doesn’t work out. Like cushions strategically placed on a metaphorical emotional couch, these options provide a soft landing if their primary relationship fails. It’s like having an emergency exit strategy, with the cushionier ready to bounce to another option at the slightest hint of uncertainty or discomfort. And while it may seem like a practical approach to safeguarding one’s heart, it raises some serious ethical questions about commitment and the authenticity of those connections.

Benching – The Dating Waiting Game… Benching, to put it plain and simple, is when someone keeps you on the sidelines. Offering occasional flirtatious messages or sporadic date ideas without ever fully committing. It’s like being in a never-ending tryout, where you’re left wondering ” Will I ever make it to the starting lineup ? ” Fret not my love, for you are valuable in this world. Not an understudy, not a benchwarmer… you deserve to be a star player. And most definitely deserving of a partner who wants you front and centre.

Breadcrumbing – A Trail of Tiny Teasers….Picture this: you’re walking along the dating trail, eagerly anticipating each step, when suddenly, you stumble upon a trail of breadcrumbs. At first, it seems innocent and delicious—a flirty message here, a compliment there—just enough to pique your interest and keep you invested. But as you follow that trail, you begin to realize that it’s leading you in some very un-tasty circles, never quite reaching a satisfying destination. That my friends, is bread crumbing. The act of when someone sprinkles tantalizing bits of attention and affection, just enough to keep you hooked but never committing to anything substantial. It’s like a never-ending game of emotional hide-and-seek, leaving you perpetually craving more. Don’t be fooled by these breadcrumb charmers; remember, you deserve a full-course meal babe… not mere crumbs.

Orbiting – Lost in Space – Orbiting is like having a distant planet constantly revolving around you, but never quite landing on your celestial shores. The orbiter, a master of keeping one foot in and one foot out, hovers on the edges of your online world. They watch your stories, like your posts, and occasionally sends a cryptic message that leaves you pondering their intentions. Much like a satellite in orbit, they continue to revolve around your digital presence, observing your every move from a safe distance yet never fully engaging.

The dating dictionary, like a secret codebook, provides us with some necessary insight into the peculiar ways people communicate in the digital age. Understanding these terms empowers us to navigate the dating landscape with confidence and discernment, allows us to decipher cryptic messages and motives with relative ease and helps us understand the intricate dance of dating dynamics with keen eye for subtleties. Hopefully finding solace in knowing that we are not alone in our experiences along the way. And remember, the language of love is ever-evolving. Amidst the madness, true connections awaits us. P.S – This blog takes a lighthearted approach in highlighting some of the more ridiculous and/or humorous aspects of modern dating. However it’s important to remember that these terms revolve around real emotions, feelings and experiences. Please always approach the dating world with respect, kindness, and genuine intentions. Until next time x