So, your ex has decided to re-enter your social media universe like a pop-up ad you can’t quite close. From those random likes that appear out of nowhere, and cryptic stories that make you wonder if they’re secretly trying to send you a message, to awkwardly timed tags that leave you scratching your head. Is this a subtle cry for attention or just a classic case of social media FOMO? Today, we’re going to peel back the layers of these online moves and figure out what they might really be saying. —and what you should do about it. Grab a glass of wine, and let’s dive in…

The Sporadic “Like” or “Comment”: Friendly or Flirty?

Your ex has taken a stroll down your social media timeline and decided to sprinkle a few likes and comments here and there. Now, you’re left sitting on your couch, popcorn in hand, wondering if this is a sign of rekindling flames, a flurry of drunken mistakes or just an innocent digital hello ?

What It Really Means: When your ex is sporadically liking your posts or dropping the occasional comment, they’re playing a bit of a social media cat and mouse. It’s their way of keeping one foot in your world while keeping their emotional distance. Think of it as a digital high-five, designed to maintain a connection without diving headfirst back into any old drama. It’s also a sneaky way for them to keep tabs on you without sending a full-on “I miss you” text. 

What You Should Do: If you’re feeling generous, still on somewhat good terms and/or can handle a bit of digital chit-chat, keep things light and breezy. A friendly “thanks!” here and a “glad you liked it!” there is totally fine. But don’t let these likes and comments turn into a fantasy land of “maybe they’re still into me.” Use this as a chance to practice some social media restraint. Set clear boundaries for yourself—if the digital breadcrumbs are making you wish for a full-on reunion, it might be time to unfollow and refocus on real-life connections.

The “Insta-Story” Surprise: Who’s Watching?

You notice your ex or past lover has been popping up in your Instagram Stories views more frequently lately, after weeks or months of no communication. Are they just interested in your life updates, or is there something more behind these repeat visits?

What It Really Means: When your ex becomes a regular viewer of your Insta-Stories, it’s like they’re peeking through a virtual window into your life. This might indicate they’re curious about how you’re doing or simply trying to keep tabs on your new chapter. Simply put, they’re orbiting the fuck out of you. 

What You Should Do: While it’s natural to feel a bit curious about why they’re watching, remember that their interest in your stories is more about them keeping a casual eye on you, rather than a serious attempt at reconnecting. And if their lurking becomes uncomfortable, consider adjusting your privacy settings. Remember, their digital voyeurism doesn’t define your worth, or your future.

The Heartfelt “Story” Share: A Cryptic Message?

What happens when an ex or past flame has posted a story or status that seems to be speaking directly to you—subtle, cryptic, and oh-so intriguing. Now, you’re left deciphering if it’s a direct message, a veiled reference to your time together, or just their latest philosophical musing.

What It Really Means:When your ex posts a story or status that feels like it’s aimed at you, it’s often their way of sending a message without actually sending it. They might be trying to communicate their feelings indirectly, or simply see if you’ll notice and react. It’s a way of sharing their current state of mind or emotions without the risk of a face-to-face confrontation.

What You Should Do: Take it with a bucket of salt babe. If you feel like it’s directed at you, it might be best to steer clear of engaging with it. Focus on your own narrative rather than getting entangled in their cryptic messages. Use this as a reminder to keep your emotional energy invested in yourself and your growth. Engage with content that brings you joy and positivity, and let their social media musings remain just that—musing.

The Memory Lane Tour: Throwback Pics Galore

Somewhat similar to the one above, but you’re casually scrolling through your ex’s social media from your Finsta and—bam!—there it is: a flood of old photos from your time together. Nothing too obvious like you in the pics, but pointed enough that you start feeling a mix of nostalgia, and maybe even a touch of annoyance.

What It Really Means: When your ex starts digging into the archives and plastering your old adventures all over their feed, it’s more than just a trip down memory lane. They might be feeling a bit wistful, or maybe they’re having a hard time letting go. It’s also possible they’re trying to show the world (and you) that they’re reflecting on the past with fondness. But let’s be really fucking honest here: most of the time, it’s just a way to get a little bit of attention or stir the pot. They’re most probably hoping that you’ll take the bait and react.

What You Should Do: First things first—DO NOT let these throwback photos send you spiralling into a nostalgia-fueled rabbit hole. Sure, it’s tempting to look back and think about all the good times, but remember, those moments are from a chapter that’s now closed. Use this as a sign to double down on your focus on the present and the future. Cherish the memories, sure, but don’t get stuck in them. Instead, channel that energy into creating new, amazing experiences. Dive into your passions, meet new people, and make some fresh memories that are all about you. And if you’re feeling particularly cheeky, which I usually am, why not post a pic of your own? Maybe a snapshot of your fabulous new adventures or your latest hobby. Show your ex—and yourself—that you’re moving on in style.

The “Random Emoji Reaction”: Just a Friendly Gesture or Something More?

So, out of nowhere, your ex is dropping a random emoji or two on your stories. It’s not a comment or a like—just a smiley face or a thumbs-up. The bare minimum of contact. What gives?

What It Really Means: When your ex starts sprinkling your posts with emojis, it’s their way of keeping things casual while still making their presence known. This can be their attempt to remain relevant in your life without making any substantial effort. Think of it as a subtle way to say, “I’m still here, and I’m cool with it,” without actually having to engage in a meaningful conversation. It’s like sending a digital wink.

What You Should Do: If you find these emoji interactions more confusing than reassuring, consider setting some clear boundaries. You don’t have to respond or react to every little emoji. Focus on your own emotional clarity and well-being, and remember that a few emojis don’t change the reality of your breakup. 

The DM Slide: Casual Chat or Real Interest?

Your ex has just slide into your DMs with a casual “Hey, how’s it going?” It’s not like they’re trying to rekindle things, right? It’s just a friendly check-in… right ?

What It Really Means: An DM can be a static to gauge your current mindset or even relationship status. It’s kind of like throwing a pebble into a pond to see if there are any ripples. They might be feeling nostalgic, curious, or sometimes, just plain bored. This is their way of re-entering your world without the full commitment of a phone call or face-to-face meet-up.

What You Should Do: If you’re up for some playful banter, feel free to reply. But, and this is absolutely crucial, don’t let their casual check-in mess with your head or reignite old flames. If they start digging for deep talks or dredging up the past, it’s time to set some firm boundaries. Remember, your response should be as chill as a summer breeze—don’t let it turn into a storm of unresolved emotions.

The “Oops, I Tagged You” Blunder: Accidental or Intentional?

So, your ex has tagged you in a post or photo you’d rather forget, leaving you wondering if it’s a genuine mistake or a calculated move to stir the pot.

What It Really Means: Listen, it could be an innocent slip-up—or it’s most probably a deliberate attempt to get your attention. Maybe they’re reminiscing about shared moments or trying to provoke a reaction. It’s their way of saying, “Hey, remember this?” without having to make direct contact. It’s a digital nudge, designed to make you think about the past or to gauge your current state of mind.

What You Should Do: Evaluate the context. If it seems like a genuine mistake, you can choose to ignore it or politely ask to have it removed if it’s causing discomfort. If it feels intentional, don’t give it the power to derail your day. Acknowledge it (if needed) and then refocus on your own journey. Use this as an opportunity to reinforce your boundaries and remind yourself of how far you’ve come. Move forward with confidence, and let the past stay where it belongs—behind you.

The New Relationship Reveal: Casual or Calculated?

Out of the blue, your ex is flaunting their new relationship on social media. It’s like they’re showcasing their shiny new toy to everyone—including you.

What It Really Means: Posting about a new relationship soon after the last ended is often a power move. It’s their way of saying, “Look at me! I’ve moved on and am doing just fine!” It’s also a subtle attempt to provoke a reaction from you—whether that’s jealousy, surprise, or just curiosity. It’s like setting off a firecracker in your digital world to see how you’ll respond. They want to show you that they’re thriving and, perhaps subconsciously, to see if you’ll miss them or feel anything about their new partner.

What You Should Do: Take a deep breath and remember that their new relationship has nothing to do with your worth or future happiness. It’s their way of moving on, and it’s perfectly okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. Use this moment to remind yourself of your own progress and the amazing things you have going on in your life. Post a picture of yourself living your best life, and remember that their social media antics are just that—antics. 

While it’s tempting to read into every little notification, remember that their digital moves are more about them trying to stay relevant in your world rather than making a genuine effort to reconnect. They may be designed to stir the pot, but you’re in control of your own narrative. So, keep your boundaries firm and clear, and let their digital drama roll off your back like water off a duck’s feathers. Your future is bright, and it’s all yours to write—no ex required. Until next time x 

HJF for First Round’s On Me