We’ve all been there. You’re sitting on the couch, scrolling through old photos, listening to sad songs, and wondering if there’s any chance your ex might come back. Your mind is a whirlwind of memories, playing back the happy moments, the laughter, and the times you felt most connected. You find yourself dissecting every detail of your last conversation, searching for hidden meanings or signs that maybe, just maybe, reconciliation is on the horizon.

You stare at your phone, Mercury in retrograde causing all kinds of cosmic chaos, seriously debating whether to send that “just checking in” text. You start daydreaming about scenarios where they suddenly realize they’ve made a colossal mistake and come sprinting back into your life. The mental movie plays out: a heartfelt apology, a passionate reunion, and everything falling back into place. It’s a sweet fantasy, isn’t it? But, as much as it pains me to burst your bubble, I have a spoiler alert: sometimes, they’re just not coming back, babe. In today’s blog, we’ll explore the sometimes painful, yet very real list of signs that they’ve moved on, and why it’s so crucial for you to embrace this reality to move forward yourself. Grab a glass of wine, and let’s dive in..

1. They’ve Deleted Shared Memories And Unfollowed You

Starting off with the most obvious one… If your ex has gone through the effort of deleting or archiving all the photos and memories you once shared, it’s a strong signal they’re trying to erase any trace of the relationship. Speaking of, if your ex has unfriended on Instagram, Snapchat, and even LinkedIn, it’s a pretty solid sign they’re not planning a reunion tour. Let’s face it, if they’ve gone through the trouble of erasing your digital existence, they’re probably not lurking in the shadows waiting to make a grand comeback. This digital decluttering isn’t just about aesthetics; it’s about severing emotional ties and creating a clean slate for themselves.

2. Their Family Stopped Liking Your Posts

Remember when their mom, sister, brother, and grandma used to like and comment on every single one of your posts, even the ones from three years ago? Those enthusiastic comments and heart emojis were like virtual hugs, making you feel like part of the family. But if they’re suddenly silent, it’s a sign. Moms in particular are the secret agents of relationships. They often have an insider’s view and are deeply invested in their child’s romantic life. If she’s no longer sending you virtual love, it’s probably because she’s been briefed on her son or daughter’s new romantic status.

3. They’ve Swapped Their Old Haunts for New Favorites

Noticed they’ve ditched your favorite coffee shop, regular date night spot or that one park you used to frequent? If they’re suddenly exploring new hangouts, it’s not just a coincidence babe—it’s their way of hitting the reset button and creating some distance from those shared memories. In that same vein, if they’re abandoning hobbies, like pickle ball and beach picnic days, or any interests you once shared, it’s more than just a new phase—It’s a calculated move to shed old memories and craft a shiny, new identity without the ghosts of partners past tagging along.

4. Their Playlist Is Now Full of Breakup Anthems 

Remember when they had “your songs” on repeat? Now their playlist looks like a tribute to singlehood, with tracks like “I’m Better Off Alone” and “Living My Best Life” playing all day, everyday. I hate to say it, but they’re likely using those tunes as a soundtrack for moving on. Frankly, when their music choices become a daily reminder of their single status, it’s a pretty good sign they’re not reminiscing about the good old days with you.

5. Their Friends Are Avoiding You Like the Plague

You used to be tight with their friends, but now they’re ducking into alleys and pretending not to see you in public. It’s not because you’ve suddenly become invisible; it’s because they’ve been given strict orders to avoid any awkward interactions. The once-warm greetings and friendly banter have been replaced with a hurried exit or a mumbled excuse. It’s as if there’s an unspoken pact among them to avoid you at all costs. Their friends, loyal to a fault, are now part of the silent brigade, avoiding any situation where they might have to choose sides or face the uncomfortable truth. Regardless of the reason, this behavior is a clear indicator that the social dynamics have shifted dramatically. It’s a tough pill to swallow, especially when these friends were once part of your inner circle. However, it’s also a cue to focus on your own healing and to seek support from friends who remain neutral or those who are unequivocally in your corner.

6. They Gave You Back Your Stuff… All of It

When they return everything you ever left at their house or gave them, it’s a clear sign they’re not planning on keeping any mementos of your time together. It’s one thing to get your favorite hoodie back, but when they’re handing over the half-used chapstick, it’s a definitive end. This gesture shows a desire to erase any reminders of the relationship, indicating they’ve emotionally moved on and want a clean break. Returning these items, especially the seemingly insignificant ones, suggests they’re closing the chapter with finality. It’s a way of saying that every trace of the relationship, no matter how small, is no longer wanted. This can be jarring and painful, serving as a tangible representation that it’s truly over.

7. They’re Posting “Self-Help” Content 

Suddenly, their profile pics are all about yoga poses, minimalist lifestyles, and deep philosophical quotes that scream “I’m discovering my inner peace” ? It’s not just a new hobby; it’s a full-scale image overhaul. They’re rebranding themselves as the “new and improved” version, indicating they’re far more interested in diving into a new chapter of their life than revisiting an old one.

8. They’re Ignoring Your Special Days

Remember when your birthday and anniversaries were practically national holidays in their calendar ? If they’re casually strolling past your special days without a hint of recognition or a simple “hey, hope you’re doing well,” it’s clear they’ve done a full 180 on their emotional GPS. It’s a not so subtle sign that they’ve moved on, and put you in the rearview mirror of their life.

9. They Avoid Any Contact or Communication

If your ex is consistently avoiding any form of contact—whether it’s ignoring your texts, not returning calls, or even dodging in-person encounters—it shows a clear desire to cut ties. You see, when someone actively avoids communication, it’s more than just needing space; it’s a deliberate choice to distance themselves. Their silence and lack of response are powerful messages about their current emotional state and their intention to move on. They might be doing this to protect their own feelings, to avoid reopening old wounds, or to ensure that both of you can heal without the complications of lingering contact. Or, they might just be a dick..who knows. Regardless, and while it might be incredibly painful, it’s an undeniable message that you should respect their decision and focus on your own path forward.

10. They’ve Made Major Life Changes Without Telling You

Got a new job? Check. Adopted a pet? Check. And you found out through social media. It stings, doesn’t it? Seeing significant life changes posted online without so much as a courtesy text can be a sobering experience. It’s more than just being out of the loop; it’s a clear indication that you’re not part of their future plans. One of the most major life changes, that feels like a punch to the gut, could be that you’ve spotted them with someone new. And not just any someone new, but someone who seems to be plucked straight from a “perfect partner” catalog. This isn’t a casual fling or a rebound; it’s clear they’re diving headfirst into a full-on new relationship. It’s as if your ex has found everything they were missing in you, and they’ve moved on faster than you can say “single.” It’s a stark reminder of how quickly things can change, leaving you to grapple with the reality that your ex has moved on while you’re still processing the end of what you thought was a meaningful connection.

One of the clearest indicators that your ex isn’t coming back is if you’re still holding out hope despite all the obvious signs above pointing otherwise. If you find yourself clinging to the faintest glimmer of possibility, it’s a sign that your heart may still be in denial. It’s essential to take off those rose-colored glasses and confront the reality of the situation. When you’re still fixated on what could have been rather than what actually is, you’re delaying your own healing process. Acceptance is crucial here; it’s about acknowledging the end of the relationship and understanding that the future lies ahead, not in the past.

So, as much as we love a good romantic reconciliation story, and always champion the return of something that is meant to be, sometimes my babe, it’s just not in the cards. Amidst this emotional turbulence, it’s important to remember why things ended. Reflect on the reasons that led to the breakup and acknowledge that there were probably very valid issues that couldn’t be resolved. And, while it’s okay to reminisce and feel a bit of sadness, don’t let it consume you. Before you hit send on that text, remember: Mercury might be stirring up trouble, but texting your ex isn’t the cosmic fix you’re hoping for. Trust that with time, you’ll find peace and eventually meet someone who makes you realize why it never worked out with anyone else. Until next time x

HJF for First Round’s On Me