It’s January. The champagne flutes are packed away, the New Year’s resolutions are scribbled in notebooks (or typed optimistically into apps), and Dry January is officially here. Whether you're detoxing from the holidays or just curious about what sober socializing has to offer, this is the perfect month to explore a refreshing side of dating—one where connections aren’t clouded by cocktails.

Dry dating might sound intimidating at first, sure. After all, for many, a first date often involves meeting over drinks to ease nerves. But what if I told you that sober dating doesn’t just eliminate the haze—it heightens the overall experience? 

To help explore this refreshing side of dating, I spoke with Christopher Murch, aka Nigel Roxbury, an openly sober creator and friend of First Round’s On Me. Christopher brings a thoughtful perspective on sobriety, dating, and how embracing a booze-free lifestyle will only ever foster deeper, more meaningful connections. And that my friends, is the aim of the dating game. Grab a Diet Coke, and let’s dive in..

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HJF: Chris, thank you so much for joining me today! Can you start by sharing a bit about your journey with sobriety?

CM: Hey all! So my sober journey started in April of 2024. I felt like my drinking was inhibiting my overall progress as a human, both physically and mentally. That, along with the struggles of not being able to stop once I started drinking, compounding with late nights, lack of sleep and overall busy-ness, I decided it wasn't serving me anymore and haven't looked back!

HJF: As someone who is openly sober, how has sobriety shaped your approach to dating?

CM: You have to be honest and upfront about sobriety. It's the number one thing in my life. It has to be at the forefront of my being and conversations surrounding myself. So being upfront about it in dating is key and outside of that, sober dating is fun! You get to connect better and really take in what others are giving you. It's much better exiting a date knowing you'll remember everything and really listened and engaged with the other indiviudal. 

HJF:  From your experience, what are some misconceptions people might have about dating sober, and how can those participating in Dry January use this month as an opportunity to break away from those assumptions?

CM: That sober people are boring or don't like to have fun. We're the most fun! And we'll remember the night and wake up the next day feeling great! Use this month, dating-wise to find whom and what you really like in a person and what you like to do on a date. 

HJF: Do you think Dry January can be an accessible entry point for people to explore a sober or semi-sober lifestyle? And how might this influence their dating experiences?

CM: I think it's a good start but a slippery slope. If you are using dry January as a reset but then double down on your drinking in February then what is the point? If you use it as an overall reflection of yourself and remove drinking and find you like this lifestyle and it carries over then it's useful. I always say practice moderation first and if you can't do that, you might have an issue with alcohol and it's probably better to stop altogether.

HJF: What advice would you give to someone feeling nervous about dating without the ‘liquid courage’ of alcohol?

CM: Alcohol is literally a poison that damages every aspect of your being. You need to build yourself up first because alcohol will only mask who you really are. I would say gaining confidence in yourself through daily positive growth (gym, success at work, building bonds with friends and others, family, passions etc.) will really help when it comes to confidence in finding a significant other.

HJF: What are your favorite sober date ideas that encourage connection and conversation?

CM: Dinners, walks, activities, events, comedy shows, movies. Hell, even a drink date at a sober bar or with a mocktail. You don't have to change your ways of dating just because you decide not to drink.

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Tips for Sober Socializing

Even with Chris’s words of wisdom, sober dating still might sound intimidating—after all, the classic “let’s grab a drink” first date has long been a go-to. But, what if we swapped that out for something more intentional and authentic? Without the haze of liquid courage, conversations become clearer, intentions sharper, and the possibility of genuine chemistry stronger. Here’s how to make the most of it:

• Acknowledge the Elephant in the Room: Let’s face it—first dates can be nerve-wracking, and without a drink to ease the tension, those nerves might feel amplified. If you’re feeling anxious, don’t be afraid to say so! A simple, “I always get a little nervous meeting someone new,” can break the ice and help your date feel more at ease. Vulnerability is a powerful connector, and odds are, they’re feeling just as nervous as you are.

• Focus on Listening: Sober socializing gives you the superpower of being fully present in the moment. Without the haze of alcohol, you’re sharper, more attentive, and better able to pick up on subtleties in the conversation. Use this as an opportunity to ask meaningful questions, listen actively, and truly engage with your date. Not only does this show that you’re interested, but it also lays the groundwork for deeper, more authentic connections.

• Celebrate Your Courage: Choosing to date sober is no small feat—it’s a testament to your confidence and your commitment to being genuine. This choice sets you apart and shows that you’re not afraid to be yourself, even in vulnerable moments. Own that energy! Remind yourself that sober dating is a bold move that reflects your self-assuredness and intention to forge real connections.

• Have a Plan B: Not every date will be a perfect match, and that’s okay. Sober dating offers the clarity to evaluate compatibility without distractions. If the connection isn’t there, it’s easier to recognize and move on without second-guessing your judgment. Always have a low-pressure Plan B—whether it’s grabbing coffee with a friend afterward or heading home to relax—to ensure you end the day on a positive note. Remember, every date is a chance to learn more about yourself and what you’re looking for in a partner.

• The FROM Advantage - Not all dating apps are built the same…At First Round’s On Me, we’re big believers in giving people the tools to create genuine, in-person connections. While our name might suggest grabbing a drink, we understand that not everyone wants alcohol to play a starring role in their dating life. That’s why we’ve curated non-alcoholic options on the app—coffee dates, juicery’s, and even venues with stellar mocktail menus. We highlight options tailored to those looking for a dry yet delightful connection. Ready to give Dry January dating a try? Download First Round’s On Me and let’s set the stage for something real. ✨

Dating sober can be transformative. It strips away the filters (both literal and figurative) and challenges you to show up as your truest self. Whether you’re sharing laughter over a caffeine buzz or connecting during a long walk, you’ll discover a new kind of chemistry—one that doesn’t rely on liquid courage to thrive.

So, this January, raise a glass (of sparkling water, kombucha, or whatever you fancy) to authentic, sober connections. And remember: the best kind of buzz comes from feeling truly seen, heard, and appreciated. Until next time x