We’ve all been there. You’re out with your girlfriends, scanning the room, when someone gasps, “Oh my god, he’s so cute.” You squint. He’s… fine. Nothing groundbreaking. Then, like a scene straight out of a romcom, he stands up—revealing his 6’4” frame—and suddenly, he’s the hottest man you’ve ever seen.

Sound familiar? Congratulations, you’ve just fallen into the psychological dating trap of mistaking height for attraction.

Let’s break this down. Why does altitude suddenly make a guy 20% hotter? Why do we mentally inflate his personality just because he physically towers over us? And—most importantly—how do we snap out of it before we waste three months texting a 6’4” guy who has the emotional depth of a teaspoon?

Grab a glass of wine, get comfortable, and let’s unpack why height is hijacking your dating life— and why it’s time to start looking beyond the inches.

The Science Behind Why We Love Tall Men

Before you blame yourself for falling for the first man who can reach the top shelf, let’s talk evolutionary psychology.

1. Height = Protection – Somewhere deep in your brain, you’re still a cavewoman and he’s the guy who can fight off a saber-toothed tiger.

2. Height = Power – History has taught us that taller people are seen as more dominant and successful. (Fun fact: The majority of U.S. presidents have been over 6 feet tall.)

3. Attractiveness Bias – Studies show we automatically assign positive traits (confidence, competence, kindness) to taller people—even when there’s zero proof.

Translation? Your brain sees tall and auto-fills in hot, funny, emotionally available, and financially stable. Unfortunately, and as most of us know, height is not a personality trait.

Why Sticking to a ‘Type’ is Sabotaging Your Love Life

Now…having preferences is normal. But if you’ve got a hard filter on height (or any other physical trait), I can guarantee that you’re missing out on amazing people simply because they don’t fit a shallow checklist. AND, you end up in patterns of dating the same kind of guy… and wondering why it never works out. That, my darling, is the definition of dating insanity.

Are You Actually Into Him—Or Just His Vertical Advantage?

I get it. There’s something about a tall drink of water that makes people weak in the knees (probably from looking up too much.) But the next time you feel yourself swooning over a skyscraper of a man, take a step back and do a little reality check:

1. Do I actually like his personality, or am I just impressed by his ability to reach the top shelf at Trader Joe’s?

2. Do we have deep, meaningful conversations, or do I just enjoy tilting my head back like I’m in a romcom?

3. Am I ignoring major red flags just because he’s built like an NBA draft pick?

4. When my friends ask about him, do I rave about his humor, kindness, and emotional depth… or do I just say “he’s sooo tall” and giggle?

If most of your attraction hinges on the latter of those sentances, dating the guy—you’re dating the inches. And you might just be wandering into TMDT™ territory - Tall Man Delusion Territory.

How to Break Free From ‘Type’ Mentality & Expand Your Dating Pool

If you’ve realized you might be prioritizing height over substance (no shame, we’ve all been there), here’s how to shift your mindset:

1. Date Outside Your Type – On Purpose.
   Challenge yourself to go on a date with someone who doesn’t fit your usual mold. You might be surprised.

2. Focus on Core Values, Not Core Strength.
   Does he make you laugh? Is he kind? Is he emotionally available? These matter way more than his wingspan.

3. Ask Yourself: ‘Would I Date Him If He Shrunk?’
   If he suddenly dropped to 5’9” overnight, would you still be interested? Be honest.

4. Reframe Your Priorities.
   Sure, physical attraction matters, but it shouldn’t be the only thing driving your dating decisions.

5. Remember: Confidence > Inches.
   A man who carries himself well, knows who he is, and treats you right will always be more attractive than one who just happens to be tall.

Don’t Let Height Hinder Your Happiness

Listen, this isn’t an anti-tall man agenda (we love you, kings—keep reaching those top shelves). But let’s get one thing straight: Height is not a Red Flag… but it’s also not a Green Flag. Height won’t make him text back faster. It won’t mean he actually listens when you vent about your day. And it’s definitely not a guarantee that he’s good in bed (sorry, but the math isn’t mathing). It’s time to retire the idea that "tall = better" and start focusing on actual connection. Chemistry, values, communication, shared humor—those are green flags. Not the fact that he can dunk a basketball.

Because I promise you—a man who actually prioritizes you, respects you, and makes you feel safe in every way that matters? He’s always going to be taller than a guy who treats you like an option.Because I promise you—a man who actually prioritizes you, respects you, and makes you feel safe in every way that matters? He’s always going to be taller than a guy who treats you like an option. So next time you catch yourself swooning over a man who’s 6’3” and nothing else, take a pause and ask: “Do I actually like him… or is he just tall?” Until next time x

Now, tell me—what’s YOUR biggest dating type trap? Drop it in the comments.