Ever felt like you're just standing on the sidewalk of love, hand out, ready to commit, waving desperately as relationship-ready taxis zoom past you, only to watch them pick up the very next passenger? 

Welcome to the 'Taxi Cab Theory'—and if you've ever watched your almost-relationship become someone else's forever, you know exactly what I'm talking about. This theory, popularized in Sex and the City, is that men, just like taxis, turn on their ‘available’ light when they’re ready to settle down. And until then, no matter how amazing you are, they’ll just drive right past you. In other words: If he’s not “ready,” he won’t commit—no matter how great you are. But the second he decides it’s time? The next person he dates gets the ring.

Cue the collective eye roll from every woman who’s ever been the almost-girlfriend to a man who “wasn’t looking for anything serious” only to see him engaged six months later to someone new.

But let's pump the brakes for a second (pun fully intended) and let me get so very Carrie Bradshaw with you: Is that really how love works? Is the Taxi Cab Theory real, or is it just a convenient excuse for emotionally unavailable men? Grab a glass of wine, and let’s find out…

My Problem’s with the Taxi Cab Theory

At first glance, sure, the Taxi Cab Theory is interesting. It might even feel comforting. It explains away rejection and justifies missed connections. "They just weren't ready," we tell ourselves (and our friends) as we wave goodbye to the cab that didn't stop. 

But let's be brutally fucking honest here—this mindset oversimplifies relationships into nothing more than a game of convenience, completely ignoring genuine compatibility, chemistry, and connection. Ask literally anyone in a happy, thriving relationship, and they'll be the first to tell you that's complete and utter bullshit. Real relationships aren't taxis; you don't just hop into the next one because the timing feels convenient. They take work, mutual investment, and a level of compatibility that goes way beyond just "being ready."

So, in the spirit of calling out problematic dating myths, here are a few (but certainly not all) of my biggest grievances with the Taxi Cab Theory:

1. It Reduces Men to Passive Passengers in Their Own Love Lives.
   This theory paints men as helpless victims of timing—passive passengers who aren't actively choosing their partners, but merely saying "yes" when the metaphorical “available” light flickers on. But let's be clear: love isn’t something men accidentally stumble into just because their internal relationship-meter suddenly activates. Men, just like women, fall in love because they experience genuine attraction, emotional compatibility, mutual respect, and meaningful connection. Suggesting otherwise isn't just insulting—it diminishes men’s capacity for depth and emotional agency, reducing their romantic choices to nothing more than convenient timing rather than authentic desire.

2. Relationships Built on Circumstance Rather than Substance. - Speaking of, when you prioritize timing over connection, you risk ending up in relationships built on circumstance rather than substance. You might find yourself saying, "They're available, I'm available—let's give it a shot!" only to realize a few months down the line that you have absolutely nothing in common besides mutual availability and maybe a shared Netflix password.

3. It Implies Women Are Just ‘Waiting for the Light to Turn On.’
   One of the most frustrating aspects of the Taxi Cab Theory is that it traps women into a passive position—always waiting, hoping, and wondering when (or if) the man they're dating will finally decide he's ready. Instead of encouraging women to actively seek out partners who match their energy, goals, and readiness, this theory suggests their value is tied to whether a man’s “availability” light is switched on or off. Meanwhile, women are left second-guessing their worth, questioning whether they were simply a casualty of bad timing or if they just weren’t "the one." It's not just disempowering; it reinforces outdated gender roles, sidelining women into supporting characters in someone else's love story rather than the confident leads of their own.

4. It Lets Men Off the Hook for Commitment Issues.
   “Oh, it’s not you, it’s just bad timing” is the ultimate soft rejection. But let’s be honest: when someone really wants to be with you, they make it happen. The Taxi Cab Theory conveniently shields men from accountability by letting them use timing as a get-out-of-relationship-free card, instead of forcing them to admit they're simply unwilling (or unable) to prioritize emotional intimacy and a genuine connection. Be so fucking real: If a guy can commit to season tickets for his favorite football team a year in advance, or meticulously plan a boys' trip months ahead, he can commit to a relationship. Timing isn’t the issue—his priorities are.

Is Timing Ever a Factor?

Okay, to be fair: sometimes timing really does matter. Life can get messy—career changes, mental health struggles, personal growth phases—and it’s okay to not be ready for a relationship.

But, if timing is truly the only issue, they won't just vanish into thin air.Instead, they'll:

• Clearly communicate exactly what they're feeling and why they're holding back.

• Make intentional space for you in their life—because they value your presence, even if the timing isn’t ideal.

• Never leave you guessing or anxiously hanging around, waiting for them to "figure things out," only to pop up six months later engaged to someone else.

If someone genuinely sees a future with you but can't commit just yet, they'll actively invest in your connection. They'll show up consistently, transparently, and respectfully—even if the label or official commitment might have to wait. Because here's the truth: People who truly care don't risk losing you while they sort their timing out.

Enter FROM-

At FROM, we get it. We understand the importance of timing, but we're also big believers that timing alone isn't enough. Our app bridges the gap, combining mutual readiness with authentic connection. How? By eliminating endless swiping and meaningless "wyd?" conversations. FROM encourages you to set up real dates upfront—dates that honor your time and ensure you're both genuinely invested in meeting. So next time you're tempted by the idea of hailing any cab that's available, remember: FROM offers something better—a ride that's worth the wait.

Final Thoughts-

Ultimately, here's what I really want you to take away:

• Real relationships happen when two people are mutually ready, not just one. It’s not about waiting for someone’s emotional traffic light to flicker green; it’s about two individuals equally prepared and excited to move forward together.

• Nobody—and I mean nobody—should feel like they’re on standby, hoping someone else eventually decides they're ready to love them. You're not an option waiting in line; you're the main event. 

• If someone says they’re not ready for a relationship, believe them and move on. The right person won’t just be “ready”—they’ll be ready for you.

So instead of obsessing over their timing, focus on yours. Are you getting what you need out of the relationship? Do you feel valued and prioritized? Because if the answer is no, you don’t need to wait for their taxi light to turn on—you need to hail yourself a whole new cab. Until next time x 🚖💛