Ahhh, the situationship. Romantic purgatory. The Bermuda Triangle of modern dating. A place where love goes to almost happen, then ghost you with zero explanation and three open story views.

It starts innocently enough. A little spark, some flirty texts, maybe even a cute nickname. You’re not dating but you’re also not not dating. You’ve met their dog, but not their friends. You share memes, but not clarity.
They call you “babe” but still have Hinge downloaded “just for fun.” 

And before you know it — boom. You’re six months deep with someone who says “I’m not really good with labels” but somehow has a five-year plan for their gym split. You’re emotionally invested in someone who’s emotionally… adjacent.

But what if I told you — you could’ve dodged it entirely?

Here’s how to spot a situationship before it sucks your time, energy, and self-worth dry like a social vampire who only texts “you up?” at 10:37 p.m. (And yes, it’s always 10:37 p.m.)

It’s time to put the situationship to bed — preferably alone, peacefully, and with your dignity intact. Grab a glass of wine, and let’s break it down…

1. You’ve Been “Seeing Each Other” for Months… But You’re Still “Chillin”

If every plan ends with “just pull up”, your love language is vague texts at 11:47PM, and your “dates” consist of shared fries, Netflix autoplay, and pretending not to care — congrats! You’re in a situationship. AKA: the non-relationship relationship Olympics, and honey, you’re going for gold.

Situationships thrive on ambiguity. Not hot, not cold — just aggressively room temp. Like leftovers you forgot to reheat.

2. You’re Googling..

If you’ve recently typed “how to bring up exclusivity without sounding like a stage-five clinger,” or practiced saying “so… what are we?” in five different tones while shampooing your hair — babe, deep down, you already know the answer. Situationships survive because we don’t ask. They die when we do.

3. You’re Not in Their Life—You’re in Their Phone

You haven’t met a single friend. Not even a cousin. Your name has never been spoken out loud in daylight hours. And their socials? Spotless. Sterile. Suspiciously single. It’s giving witness protection.

Sure, they react to your stories with a 🔥 or drop the occasional heart-eyes emoji like they’re doing community service…but if you’re only showing up in their DMs and never in their day-to-day, chances are you’re not their person — you’re their backup plan.

And babe, you weren’t made to be a maybe. You're not a “just in case.”

4. There’s Effort… But Never Clarity

They’re not treating you badly. In fact, they might even treat you just well enough to keep the dopamine loop going. But if your gut is saying, “I don’t know where I stand,” and your friends are in a constant state of raised eye brows and side eyes, listen. Hear me when I say: Consistency without commitment is just manipulation with better manners.

5. You Feel Like You’re in a Job Interview You Didn’t Apply For

Suddenly you’re editing texts like they’re résumés, trying to sound chill, clever, and just interested enough without giving “emotionally available.” You’re waiting for them to initiate, them to choose, them to finally wake up and realize you’re the total package.

Spoiler alert: you’re not dating — you’re auditioning.

This isn’t The Bachelor. If someone needs six months, three “just not sure where I’m at” speeches, and a full spiritual awakening to decide if they like you? They don’t. They’re just bored, lonely, or lowkey addicted to the attention. This isn’t a job interview. There’s no position to earn. You’re not fighting for a final rose — you are the damn rose. Act accordingly.

6. They Avoid “The Talk” Like It’s Jury Duty

You bring up exclusivity. They bring up their trauma.
You ask what this is. They ask if you’ve seen that one TikTok. A mature adult can handle a DTR convo (define the relationship, for the emotionally fluent). A situationshipper will spin you into so many circles you’ll feel like a confused Roomba.

At the end of the day, a situationship is a vibe with no vision. A connection with no clarity. It’s dating with the parking brake on. It’s what happens when two people enjoy each other’s company—but one (or both) lacks the capacity, courage, or desire to go deeper.

And if that’s what you want? Cool, I’m happy for you. But if you're looking for real, intentional connections, and actual plans that don’t involve a couch and takeout… it’s time to bounce, and start dating like you mean it—with people who actually want to meet in real life. 

Say it with me: We are no longer accepting half-hearted texting. Not exisiting within the “what are we” limbo. No more waiting for the “right moment” or “maybe next weekend.” Just real dates, with real people, who are actually ready. And in case you didn’t know (though you should by now) First Round’s On Me is here to help you do just that.

Until next time—may your texts be clear, your standards high, and your exits graceful. And if you need permission to block them? This is it. x