There’s a silent saboteur lurking in your love life.

It’s subtle. It’s trendy. It’s dressed in emotional intelligence and wrapped in “I’m just protecting my peace” energy. And it’s absolutely keeping you single.

Ready for it? Grab a glass of wine, and let’s dive in..

It’s the obsession with “the ick.”

Yep. The ick. The internet’s favorite dating dealbreaker. That irrational, sometimes microscopic turn-off that makes you go from “he’s cute” to “he breathes too loud and I can never look him in the eye again.”

At first glance, the ick seems harmless. Funny, even. A little flirt-fueled gossip over wine: “He said ‘yummy’ during dinner—I physically recoiled” or “She clapped when the plane landed. It’s over” or even “He texted ‘hehe.’ I had to block him for my sanity.”

But here’s the thing—and I’m going to be brutally honest— The ick feels like a red flag, but most of the time, it’s not. It’s a trigger for your own fear of intimacy, dressed up as a personality quirk.In a world where everyone’s terrified of wasting time, we’ve started equating small discomforts with big warning signs. We don’t “wait and see,” we “ick and flee.”

Before you jump down my throat: yes, some icks are absolutely valid.Justice for all who’ve endured loud chewers and toe rings.But a lot of icks? They’re just defense mechanisms. Tiny little shields we use to bail before things get real. We use them to avoid vulnerability. To keep control. To justify ghosting someone before they get the chance to like us too much… or worse—before we like them back.

The Ick is Killing Chemistry. And sadly, we’re filtering people out faster than we can let them in.

Real connection doesn’t always arrive perfectly packaged. Sometimes it looks like a guy with mismatched socks who just gets you. Sometimes it’s a girl who snorts when she laughs but listens like it’s her superpower. And if you give it a second—if you stay—

That first “ick”? Might turn into your favorite thing.

So, What Do You Do Instead?

1. Pause before you ick.
   Ask: Is this actually a red flag… or just unfamiliar?Is this actually a dealbreaker, or am I just uncomfortable with letting someone in? Sometimes what feels like a turnoff is just your brain resisting vulnerability.

2. Get curious, not cruel.
   That one weird quirk? Could become your favorite thing about them. Or at least a story for the wedding speech.

3. Feel the discomfort… and stay anyway.
   Real connection isn’t always smooth at the start.
   It’s awkward. It’s messy. Sometimes it’s someone oversharing too soon or doing a weird voice when they’re nervous. That discomfort you feel? It might be the edge of something real. Stay in the moment a little longer. Let it unfold. Magic usually hides right behind the cringe.

The Takeaway

You’re not single because you got the ick. You’re single because you never gave anyone the chance to be more than their first impression. You’re single because you’re too good at running—and too scared of staying.

So next time you’re tempted to swipe left because he double-tapped his own selfie or she used a millennial pause in conversation—ask yourself: Am I avoiding them… or am I avoiding something in me?

Because dating isn’t about finding someone flawless. It’s about finding someone worth pushing past the ick for.

And if you’re ready to meet someone who’s actually real, actually interested, and actually down to date IRL? You know where to find us. FROM will even help you set it up.

Until next time—may your ick’s be minor, your connections major, and your dating life less chaotic than days of past.💘