Welcome (back) to the chaotic, confusing, and oddly poetic world of modern dating. At First Round’s On Me, we don’t just believe in IRL dates — we believe in understanding the weird psychological minefield we’re all walking through to get to those dates. So we have a running glossary… One that’s real, raw, and probably a lil’ too accurate. I’m sorry but also, you’re welcome.

Fauxthenticity - Noun

Pronunciation: /fō-then-ti-si-tee/

Definition: When someone pretends to be vulnerable or “deep” early on, just to build fast intimacy — but it’s all surface-level and pre-packaged.

Tapnesia  - Noun

Pronunciation: /tap-nee-zhuh/

Definition: When you completely forget someone you matched with the second they stop replying.

The First-Date Foyer - Noun

Pronunciation: /foi-yay/

Definition: The mental space between agreeing to a date and actually showing up — full of spirals, overthinking, and outfit changes.

The Sparkspiracy- Noun

Pronunciation: /spark-speer-uh-see/

Definition: The false belief that if there’s no instant spark, it can’t be love. Refusing to give someone a second date simply because the first didn’t feel like a rom-com — even if the connection was real.

Crumb Cruising - Verb

Pronunciation: /kruhm kroo-zing/

Definition: The art of surviving off emotional crumbs—one reaction to your story at a time

Platonic Latching - Verb

Pronunciation: /pluh-ton-ik latch-ing/

Definition: When you know there’s no chemistry, but you continue dating someone because the companionship is addicting.

Situashift -Noun

Pronunciation: /sit-choo-uh-shift/

Definition: When a situationship suddenly gets serious — either due to pressure, convenience, or just the fact that no one else is texting you back.

Chemistry Comedown - Noun

Pronunciation: /kem-uh-stree kum-down/

Definition: That weird, unshakeable crash you feel after a great first date when the serotonin wears off and you’re left wondering if it was real.

McDate - Noun

Pronunciation: /mick-dayt/

Definition: When a date is fast, forgettable, and leaves you vaguely unsatisfied.

Me-rroring  - Verb

Pronunciation: /mee-ruh-ring/

Definition: When someone mimics your personality, interests, and even texting style to seem compatible... until they drop the act.

Which dating term do you relate to the most? Let us know in the comments — or coin your own. Who knows, it might just end up in the next FROM glossary drop. 🍸